Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered
by ithinkyourewonderful
Summary: Bewitched. Bothered. Bewildered. All words that could describe what Jane & Maura are feeling as they come to realize their emotions run deeper than they originally thought. Season One.
1. Bewitched

Summary: Bewitched. Bothered. Bewildered. All words that could describe what Jane & Maura are feeling.  
>Disclaimer: Not mine - just having fun!<p>

AN - Totally un-betaed; you've been warned! An old fic from Season One I found!

~~~

By the time Jane Rizzoli pulled her car towards Maura Isle's driveway, the large truck that was parked alongside of the house drove off. It was large, built to hold furniture - perhaps Maura re-did the west wing, Jane thought to herself as she grabbed her stuff from the car and shut the door.

It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday - one of the last great Indian summer days that Boston would have this year and Jane was going to make certain that Isles didn't waste it indoors. She made her way up the walk and noticed the front door wide open - she grabbed the knocker on the front of the door and knocked heavily before she walked in "Hello?" she called out, her senses alert and her eyes looking for the first sign of trouble. She heard a rustle in the next room and finally Maura popped her head out the doorway - "Jane - Hi - did you knock?" - she asked as she popped her head back into the room.  
>"Yeah, the door was open, wanted to make sure everything was ok." Jane shut the front door and made her way towards the sitting room where she watched as Maura, immaculately dressed in a slim navy skirt and white knit tank bundling what seemed to be sheets of plastic...that lead to a newly arrived piano by the window.<br>"Oh yes, everything's fine!" The blonde responded as she set down the plastic and began to polish the gleaming wood of the instrument.  
>"See you're doing some re-decorating here?"<br>"It was a gift - isn't it beautiful?" Maura asked as she stepped up on her tip-toes and stretched to reach the other end of the piano; she turned to smile at Jane, who was quickly fidgeting with her bag, trying to shove something into it. "What's that in your hand?" She asked as she finished and sat down on the bench facing her friend.  
>"Nothing - nothing. So, a gift?" Jane asked, clearly flustered, a slow red spreading across her cheeks.<br>"Yes, from my godfather. It was a surprise! And are you sure it's nothing, because it clearly looked like something."  
>"Trust me, it was nothing. So, can you play the piano? Or was it just one of those 'I just saw this in the window and knew you had to have it' type of things?" Jane dropped the bag by the couch and moved over to the piano, running her hand across the top, trying to get Maura to forget about it.<br>"I wish you wouldn't make fun of me like that." Maura responded quietly as she turned around to face the keys and Jane who was wandering around the instrument. "It was a very thoughtful gift - this was the piano I learned on." Her fingers began to run across the keys, plucking out a familiar tune that Rizzoli couldn't quite place. "It was my first friend."  
>"I'm sorry Isles. I really am."<p>

Maura played for a moment before she stopped, having forgotten the incident and raised her head towards her friend who had surprised her. "What brings you by, Jane? Did we have plans I forgot about?"  
>"Nah, I just had an extra ticket to today's game and wanted to see if you wanted to come with me -"<br>"That explains the outfit." Maura smiled, taking in Jane in her full athletic gear: ponytail, white and red Red Sox jersey, denim cutoffs revealing an amount of thigh that on anyone else would've been indecent, but on Jane, looked just right.  
>"But you have your new toy..." Jane sat herself next to Maura on the piano bench, mildly aware of her though touching Maura's, "You know I used to take lessons too? Hated them. From Mrs. Ciccone down the street from us. Hated her. Smelt of mothballs. Frankie got to Baseball that year." Jane stuck out a finger and tapped out a few strands.<br>"Clair de Lune!" Maura responded with an almost childlike happiness "Well done!" She shot her a huge smile, watching as Jane blushed.  
>"It's nothing - about the only thing I remember. Anyways - I guess I should go." Jane swiveled around and stood up.<br>"Does that mean I can't come?" Maura asked, unsure of what just happened here.  
>"Well you have your piano."<br>"It's big Jane." Maura smiled, "I don't think it's going anywhere."  
>"Do you want to go with me?"<br>"Yes!" Isles exclaimed, jumping up from her seat with joy.  
>"Really?"<br>"Yes! I just need to change - somehow I don't think this is Fenway approved! What should I wear?" Maura began rattling off options excitedly - Jane watched her friend's excitement for a moment before she hesitantly bent over and pulled something out of her bag and held it out for the woman before her who grew silent at the sight of it. In Jane's hands, held out for Maura was a lumpy package, crudely covered in gift wrapped and taped in place.  
>"Is this for me?" Maura asked, apprehensive.<br>"You may not like it -" Jane began, "You know, never mind -"  
>"Jane no! I'm sorry - didn't' mean anything by it. I just..." Maura took a deep breath and quickly blurted out "it'sjustthatit'smybirthdaytoday."<br>"I know." Jane responded, nudging the package back towards her, "Happy birthday.". Maura looked up into her friend's brown eyes as she took the package and sat down. She slowly began to unstick each piece of tape from the paper - meticulous in her approach until Jane finally cleared her throat, "You know the game's today right? So you can just rip right into it." Isles laughed, a smile across her face.  
>"How did you know?" She asked quietly as she continued to unwrap the gift in her own manner, her eyes down in her lap.<br>"You got a bouquet of flowers yesterday - dahlias - not the most romantic flowers, and you haven't gone on any dates (that I know of) - so I snuck a peek at the card..."  
>"Jane -"<br>"I know, I know - I shouldn't snoop, but I'm a cop. Can't help it. Damn Nancy Drew books as a kid!" Jane laughed, unable to look at her friend.  
>"Thank you."<br>Jane turned around and caught her breath at the nearness of Dr. Maura Isles who came up behind her and was standing what would've been described as uncomfortably close if it was anyone else - but as it was Maura, it was close enough. Or almost close enough. What little distance there was left was bridged by the blonde who leaned over and brushed her lips against Jane's cheek and then pulled back and asked "How do I look?!"

Jane slowly exhaled, not realizing that she had stopped breathing as Maura kissed her. Her cheek. Kissed her cheek, Jane corrected herself as she took in the sight of her friend - her blonde hair down around her shoulders, a huge grin spread ear to ear across her face, a matching red and white Red Sox jersey over her short navy skirt. "You look ... amazing!" Jane responded. She really did - she managed to make the jersey look...sexy with her natural curves - and her legs peeking out underneath the hip hugging skirt. "Do you like it?"  
>"I love it!"<br>"We can exchange it if you don't -"  
>"I love it Jane. Thank you for my gift!" She held out her hand and grabbed her friend's arm and dragged her towards the front door. "Now let's go! I don't want to miss a minute!"<br>"No rush, Maura - it's baseball! Trust me, there's LOTS of minutes!"

~~~

Jane sat in their booth alone, pushing her half-empty bottle of warm beer across the table, watching it slide along the pool of water collecting underneath it.

This was not how Jane thought she'd end the day - not when it began like it did. The truth was, Jane didn't like to think - not about herself anyways. She thought at work, about every angle and every motive and opportunity - but when it came to things in her own life, she just liked to let sleeping things lie. And the more time she spent with Dr. Maura Isles, the harder it became to not think. About her friend... and if she was a friend... and the way she looked modeling her new jersey or the unidentifiable feeling she got when she saw the bouquet of flowers being delivered or the way she leaned over and kissed her on the cheek - close enough that if she slipped... She took another sip and grimaced as she swallowed the warm beer. And more than anything, Jane Rizzoli didn't want to think about the scene in the parking lot which lead to her here - sitting alone, thinking, with warm beer.

.

.

TBC


	2. bothered

"Would it bother you?"  
>"What?"<br>"Would it bother you-" Maura Isles repeated slowly, the words deliberate and halting "-if I were attracted to you?"

Jane looked across the booth at Maura, whose eyes were intently focused on a chip on base of her wine glass. Jane took a swig of her beer and peered over the bottle at the woman across from her and tried to chart how the conversation progressed from the Sox game they had just came back from to the nuances of beer nuts vs pretzels and if they stuck a candle in either, would it count as a cake for Isle's birthday to...to...this.

"Are you?" Jane asked, her voice controlled, lowering her eyes towards her beer bottle, fiddling with the edge of the label.  
>"Would it bother you Jane?" Maura asked, raising her eyes towards the brunette sitting across from her who was trying desperately NOT to look at her.<br>"No, no, it wouldn't bother me - I mean, why would it? I'm straight."  
>"Congratulations." Maura slipped some cash out of her purse and placed it under her wine glass.<br>"So are you, right?"  
>"Good night Jane." Isles stood up and slipped into her jacket and made her way out of the bar.<p>

The wind outside was jarring and cold - so different from the warm breezes of this afternoon - it was just what she needed to revive her. She wasn't sure what she just did in there. Until recently she had never been anything but straight...ish, aside from a few misread signals from women in college eager to experiment and who saw her general social discomfort as symptomatic of her latent homosexuality. Except it wasn't. It really wasn't anything more than general social discomfort. But lately the jokes Jane would throw out, about sleepovers and 'types' coupled with the reactions Maura felt when her skin would brush Jane's when they sat too close together (or the fact that they did sit too close entirely too often) began to chafe Isles like a new pair of shoes. She wrapped her jacket tighter and crossed the street towards the parking lot.  
>"Isles! Isles!" Jane called out as she trotted behind her in nothing more than the thin jersey and shorts she wore to the game, catching up to her friend in the parking lot. "I'm sorry!"<br>"I don't like being teased," Maura revealed quietly, shivering where she stood, averting her eyes from Jane's. "And you like doing that. You like to tease me."  
>"I know."<br>"It's not -"  
>"I know." Jane repeated, cutting her off, "It's just that you kind of threw me for a loop! I mean, look at you! And I know that doesn't mean anything - but I've seen you flirt with men over a corpse, Maura. So what, are you like 'gay' gay or am I just THAT stunningly beautiful and feminine that -"<br>"Sexuality is scalable, it isn't binary Jane. It's not 0 or 1 -"  
>"It is for me." Rizzoli stated as easily as she'd state that the sky was blue and the Sox were, are and will always be better than the Yankees.<br>"Really?"  
>"Yeah. Really."<br>"So," Maura stepped closer towards Jane, taking slight comfort in the warmth and shelter that the taller woman's body provided. "You're saying you never noticed a woman in the way you noticed a man?" Isles pressed her lips together as she waited for an answer, steeling herself against the penetrating gaze of the brunette. Jane tried to peer behind the challenge that lay in her friends eyes, trying to get to the true direction of this line of questioning. With Maura Isles, she was never sure of the motivation of her actions - as it was, she didn't say if she was gay, or whatever, or even attracted to Jane - it could be exploratory questioning, social experimentation or a personal confession. Either way, it was a land mine of emotions and she was going to have to tread carefully. And she was cold. Really damned cold. Too cold to deal with this crap. "Come on Maura, let's just go back inside, I'll buy you another beer..." Jane cocked her head towards the bar, shoving her hands in her pockets.  
>"I was drinking wine. And not until you answer my question." Maura seemed rooted to her very spot in the parking lot - the parking lot with the potholes and ancient orange streetlights and the faded graffiti on the walls - and if Jane Rizzoli was honest - was was noticing Maura Isles... "I don't know what you want me to say here Isles, give me a hint." She pleaded.<br>"I don't want you to say anything - I want you to answer the question."  
>"Fine, sure. I've noticed women - but like I notice guys? I don't know. I don't pay attention." She watched as her friend processed the answer and finalized it with a nod and a smile and turn around and cross the final few feet to her car. "Wait!" Jane asked, following her "That's it? You're leaving? What about that other bottle of beer?"<br>"I was drinking wine."  
>"Whatever. What about you, Isles? I mean, do you notice women? Or men, or whatever?"<br>"I notice people." Maura tentatively began, choosing her words very, very carefully.  
>"Do you...notice me?" Jane asked, her voice low and curious.<br>"You are...extremely...beautiful Jane. And incredibly confusing to be. Yes. I notice you."  
>"Oh." Was all Jane could muster, pulling her body closer to herself. "Thank you."<br>"I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable."  
>"No, no. Just..." Jane's voice trailed off with confusion, how do you tell someone that you hadn't been told you were beautiful by someone other than your mother in years?<br>"I should go now."  
>"Yeah, and I should get my stuff."<br>"Finish your beer?" Maura joked, trying to get Jane to crack a smile and return their relationship to some semblance of normalcy.  
>"It's probably warm<br>"Sorry..." Isles opened the door and slid gracefully inside as Jane helped her shut the door. It looked as if Jane wanted to say something, she looked as if she was lost in thought, chewing on her lower lip. Eventually Maura had to realize that whatever it was, Jane Rizzoli wouldn't be sharing it with her, not tonight... and from the looks of it, she'd be lucky if they ever shared more than a passing word at work after this. With a sigh, she started her car and slowly left Jane standing alone in the parking lot.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Maura Isles had regretted them. She wasn't sure why she said it. She really didn't. Sometimes she just said things, did things to see how people would respond. It was curiosity - it was why she was so good at her job. She did really notice Jane Rizzoli though. She really did think she was beautiful, and confusing and funny. She appreciated the way Jane smiled or surprised her with chocolate or coffee as much as she appreciated the red-soled surprise of a pair of Louboutin; the functional and clean lines of the other woman's body as much as she did her own Hermes purse; the way - "Oh my God!" Maura exclaimed to no one but herself as she pulled her car into her driveway - she was attracted to Jane Rizzoli. Honestly attracted to her. It wasn't that Jane was a woman that shocked Maura - because despite her aforementioned heterosexuality, she truly did believe in the fluidity of sexuality - it was that she was attracted to anyone. It had been so long since she was honestly attracted to someone.

Maura exited her car and made her way inside, performing her nightly rituals like she did every night regardless of what time she got home. She was a woman who found comfort in routine. She flirted with men, and dated men, because it was, in a way, routine. It also passed the time, and it was fun - but none of it was actual attraction, the chemical and biological reactions that drew one human to another, that made you notice the way that made you spray that extra spritz of perfume, or apply that extra coat of lip gloss . Maura always assumed she would date men, and scare them away with what she said or did, until one day she met one who wasn't scared by what came out of her mouth and would stay and they would have breakfast in bed and fight over the remote and who had to walk the dog (because she always assumed he'd have a dog - it would show he was compassionate, responsible and aware of the needs of another being). And now... here she was - attracted to someone who would watch her work without being disgusted or scared; who learned to find her erratic bouts of information if not charming, at least tolerable. They didn't have breakfast in bed, but they did share beds an awful lot; and they did eat breakfast together and fight over the remote and walking Jo Friday. Truth be told, she and Jane Rizzoli were dating without either of them knowing it. Or consummating it.

Maura changed into her pajamas, and was halfway through flossing her teeth as she contemplated consummating her relationship with Jane.

If Jane would be willing.

Which she wouldn't be.

Because she was a binary 0 on a sliding scale from black to white with every imaginable shade of grey in between.

But IF Jane were willing... Maura spat out into the sink and was mid-rinse when a loud knock rang out through the empty house. It was too late for visitors (as if she ever had any other than Jane) - except for Jane. "Coming!" Maura called out as she ran down the stairs. Swiftly she dug through her purse, pulled out and swiped her lipstick across her lips and blotted, yanked her hair out of her ponytail and took a calming breath before she swung the door open with an air of causal indifference.

"You should really ask who it is first." Jane said, standing on the steps, presenting her with an open package of Twinkies with a candle in them.  
>"I knew it was you - you're the only one who uses the knocker. Or comes over." Maura responded as she stepped aside. "Come in?"<br>"Nah, looks like you're getting ready for bed. I just wanted to stop by -" She offered the Twinkies to the woman. "-Seems a shame you didn't at least have cake on your birthday. And the candle was lit - wind must've blown it out."  
>"Oh."<br>"Guess I could come in-"  
>"Let me blow out my candles myself?"<br>"Something like that." Jane responded as she nervously entered the room and followed Isles into the kitchen. Jane placed the Twinkies on the counter and watched as Maura removed the candle and lit it from the stove. "I uh, hope you like Twinkies - they had HoHo's but they looked a little smushed."  
>"Don't know." Maura responded, a small smirk spread across her face as she slid the candle in its previous hole. "Never had a Twinkie before."<br>"Oh, well - let me tell you - you are in for a treat." Jane laughed as she watched her friend quietly close her eyes and smiled. "Hey, Isles, meditating over there?"  
>Maura opened an eye to shoot her a dirty look while she shushed her. They stood for a moment until Maura opened her eyes. "I was making a wish - and before you ask, no Jane, I will not tell you what I wished for."<br>"I didn't know you were superstitious."  
>"I'm not." Maura blew out the candle swiftly, "But I do believe in rituals. Tradition." She plucked out the candle and sucked the cream off the candle before she took a Twinkie and offered the other one to Jane.<br>"Oh. Thanks. Well - Happy Birthday." Jane took the Twinkie and nervously leaned in to peck Maura on the cheek.  
>"Jane." Maura murmured, but before he could finish, Jane quickly mashed her lips against Isle's, catching th other woman off-gaurd. As far as first kisses go, it was fairly awkward and unexpected. But after a moment, it turned into something else entirely. Both women relaxed, their lips no longer prone and pressed against each other but rather easing into an actual kiss - a tongue hesitantly darting out, teeth playfully catching the other's lip in its grasp. Finally Jane pulled back, letting both women catch their breath. She watched as a blush of excitement spread across Isle's cheeks. "I guess I just wanted to say that I think I notice you too and -" She wiped the back of her hand across her mouth to clear off the smeared lipstick. "-Geeze Maura, did you put on lipstick before you opened the door?"<br>"Yes."  
>"You are such a girl."<br>"Yes I am. Thank you for noticing that." Maura smirked, leaning on the counter and taking a satisfied bite out of her Twinkie. "And for future reference. I think I care for Twinkies. A great deal."


	3. bewildered

Jane and Maura didn't cross paths over the next few days - there were, it seems, other Detectives who solved homicides in the city of Boston.

It didn't mean that Jane wasn't acutely aware of every time Maura's heels clicked down the hall, past the division's door. And it didn't mean that Maura wasn't absolutely aware of how long it had been since they last ... interacted (83 hours and counting). Per Jane's request, she was giving her room - space. In which to think. Which were her exact words. Jane's, not hers. To say that Dr. Maura Isles was confused was an understatement. Wrist deep into the body of her current subject, Maura reviewed all the known elements in what had happened in order to better grasp the situation:  
>1. Jane came over on Saturday night (Well, Sunday at that point) with Twinkies and candles<br>2. Jane kissed her after she blew out the above mentioned candle  
>3. Maura devoured her Twinkie and half of Jane's<br>4. Jane smiled at her and physically indicated she would like to kiss Maura again - but didn't  
>5. Maura invited Jane to stay the night, assuring the brunette that it was a strictly platonic invitation<br>6. Jane smiled and said she had plans that morning  
>7. Maura took Jane's hand and walked her to the door (Bass following along. Slowly.)<br>8. There was an awkward moment when neither woman knew what the appropriate goodbye gesture would be.  
>a. Maura went for the cheek<br>b. Jane went for a hug  
>c. They crashed into themselves and laughed<br>d. They pulled back  
>e. Maura smiled and gently pushed her against the door and ki-<p>

"Doctor Isles?" A voice interrupted her list-making and pulled her out of her corpse.  
>"Yes?!" She snapped, shooting a dirty look at the new Detective who was assigned to her case. Dougie, Doogie, Denny something. She didn't really catch it. Cute though, if you went for that boyish charm kind of thing.<br>"I was just - guess you're not done. Never mind."  
>"No, not done yet. Still open." She pointed down to the open chest before her, "Generally means I'm not done yet."<br>"Got it." He stammered, still looking at her.  
>"Ok." She dismissed him and returned to her work.<br>"Ok." He stood there for a moment, watching as she continued her exam.  
>"Did you want anything else?" She finally asked, his peering making her nervous.<br>"No - I mean - I..."  
>"You?" She knew she shouldn't be so curt with him - he was probably scared of the body on the table; he was young and hadn't seen too many corpses splayed open. She also knew she had a reputation of being intimidating (it was the whole 'cuts corpses open for a living' thing Jane assured her). She also knew what it was like to be intimidated. It wasn't nice. "I'm sorry," Maura pulled herself out of the body cavity she was working in and turned to face him again. "You were saying?"<br>"I uh - wanted to see if, when you were done..." He stammered and blushed and reminded her of someone, she couldn't quite place her finger on. "If you wanted to grab dinner, or something? I mean, if you can eat after...that." He motioned towards their victim.  
>"I can eat after almost anything. Except for roller coasters." Maura began, her mouth racing and her mind working to catch up to it. "And I should be hungry in - Oh. Oh! Ohhhhhhh." Her mind and her mouth finally met and realized she was just asked out. Mid-autopsy. Perhaps she really should cut out the flirting in close proximity to corpses. It never did work out well for her. "I would, gee, I would love to. I would, it's just I'm kind of-"<br>"You're probably seeing someone, right?" Denny asked, nodding his head in understanding. "I get it, should've known. I mean, I asked but -"  
>"You asked? Who?"<br>"Um, Korsak and Rizz. They said you weren't - but then Rizz said you didn't really talk a lot about that kinda stuff. Anyway - I uh..."  
>"I'm sorry - but thank you." Isles smiled at him, "It isn't often that someone comes in to talk to me in here, let alone wants to spend time with me." She paused for a moment "It was very nice. You have good manners." she offered.<br>"Well, no worries - maybe we can grab a drink or something later - you know, in a non-dinner capacity?" He returned her smile and ducked out of the room, letting her return to work. And her list.

e. Maura smiled and gently pushed her against the door and kissed her - gently  
>9. Jane left<br>10. Maura fed Bass/re-brushed/re-flossed/crawled into bed/thought about how this may have been one of the best birthdays she'd had in recent memory  
>11. Jane called her and said she needed 'space'. She needed to think. About what this meant. And if there was a this, because you know she was hopped up on beer and Twinkies.<br>12. Maura pointed out that it had been hours since the beer's effects wore off and that the Twinkies came after the kiss  
>13. Jane muttered something about a Twinkie defense<br>14. Maura responded along the lines that Jane could take all the time she wanted or needed, wished her good night and then hung up  
>15. Maura then considered revising her previous statement about her birthday, but chose to leave it intact as it was well past midnight and therefore no longer her birthday<br>16. Maura then pounded her pillow into submission, curled up in the fetal position and fell asleep feeling confused.

That sense of confusion stayed with her when she woke up in the morning, and when her phone didn't ring or buzz, or why Jane never responded to her text asking which pizza place it was that they preferred, Pizza Milano or Pizzeria Roma? That confusion carried over into Monday when she told the Barista at the coffee shop she only needed one coffee today, not two. And it was with her now, as she reviewed everything - as far as she could tell, she hadn't committed a transgression more major than eating Jane's Twinkie. Maybe Jane really liked her Twinkie? But it was her birthday, and it was in lieu of cake, and Jane had her entire life to eat Twinkies and it was Maura's first time!

"Cavity's still open. Still open means still not done." Maura called out in response to the door which clicked open.  
>"I'll be sure to remember that." The familiar voice remarked, lingering by the door.<br>"Jane!" Maura's head snapped up at her unexpected visitor. "Hi." She greeted her friend, a smile spreading across her whole face.  
>"Hi."<br>"Hi."  
>"Hi." Jane repeated, laughing softly.<br>"How are you?" Isles asked, snapping her bloody gloves off her hands and throwing them out, before washing her hands.  
>"I'm good. How was pizza?"<br>"Oh. Um. Good. Good. I think Bass is developing an appreciation for crusts."  
>"Well that's good."<br>"Yeah."  
>"Yeah."<br>An awkward silence hung over them, allowing the honey-haired woman to realize that she was doing it again, flirting over dead bodies.  
>"So, anyways..." Jane began, revealing a file folder from behind her, "I was wondering if you could do me a favor and look over these files - I can't help but feeling like there's something we've missed."<br>"Oh."  
>"No rush, just whenever. Thanks." Jane placed the files on the counter, offered a wan smile and backed out of the room leaving Maura and her faded smile alone. "I washed my hands for that?" she murmured to herself as she returned to her corpse.<p>

Jane, meanwhile ducked around the corner from the door and leaned her back against the wall. She knew she was being an asshole. She did. She said so to herself every time she heard Maura's voice, or made a detour to avoid the morgue. She just didn't know what else to do. She kissed a girl. She had worked her entire adult life fighting that stereotype - what was it, was it something everyone else could smell on her?!

And it wasn't a forgivable, drunken, make-out session either, (not that she'd ever done that) but she'd hung enough around bars to see it happen often enough. And it wasn't just any girl either, it was Maura. Maura of all people. The woman was at times the most literal human being on the planet! Jane didn't have a lot of friends, it wasn't like she could afford to get new ones if things didn't work out with the ones she had. And she had a strong feeling things wouldn't be working out between them. And then where would she be? She'd be down a ... girlfriend. And worse, down a friend. The damned near greatest friend she had. And she couldn't deal with that. Deep down, Jane Rizzoli was a coward. With that admission, she pushed herself off the wall and made her way back to her desk.

~~~

They only had one more run-in that week (112 hours) - both women were in their cars, stuck in the bottleneck of traffic trying to get out. Jane quickly nodded, then lowered her head to occupy her time with doing whatever she could find to prevent her from looking into the confused eyes of Dr. Isles. In fact, she was doing such a good job that she didn't even notice it was her turn to exit until a honk from Maura's car alerted her. Damn.

~~~

It was a Friday night and Jane was sitting at home, alone. The highlight of her night was going to be taking Jo Friday for a walk - she even did an extra block to prolong the night and they had just returned home and Jane had an entire evening looming ahead of her. She didn't realize just how much of her social life revolved around drinking with Maura, or hanging out with her or - a knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Jane eagerly opened the door, hoping to find a misdirected pizza guy on the other side, only to find Maura...and a box of...  
>"Are those Twinkies?" She asked, stepping aside and half-heartedly waving the woman into her apartment.<br>"Yes." She responded. "I brought you a box of Twinkies."  
>"Why?" Jane asked, ripping the box open and shoving a snack cake in her mouth.<br>"After reviewing everything from that night the only thing I could come up with was that I ate half your ... Twinkie. And even though it was my birthday and supposed to be my cake, perhaps it was not fair of me. So I brought you replacements. Can we be friends again?" Maura asked, her eyes lighting up in earnest.  
>"Let me get this straight," Jane began, "You reviewed Saturday night, and the only thing wrong that you found was that you ate half my Twinkie."<br>"Yes."  
>"So you went and bought me a box of Twinkies, and arrived here asking if we could be friends?"<br>"Yes. Should it have been two boxes?" She asked, legitimately concerned that she had just jeopardized the reunion.  
>"For the record, yes. Always two boxes." Jane responded with a deadpan face.<br>"I can get another one." Maura gathered her keys and started towards the door.  
>"Maura, Maura - wait, no. It was a joke."<br>"Oh. Ha. Funny."  
>"No, it wasn't."<br>"Not very, but I've learned it's not polite to tell that to someone's face." Maura agreed, standing like a lost child in the middle of the room. "So? Are we friends again?"  
>"No, Maura, we're not friends again."<br>"Why not? You ate my Twinkie!"  
>"They were a gift!" Jane protectively clutched the box towards her chest, "Besides, you ate mine."<br>"Half." Maura corrected her.  
>"Why do you even want to be friends with me, Isles?" Jane asked, placing the box on top of the fridge, and grabbing two beers. She opened both and handed one to Maura, then sat herself on top of the kitchen counter. "I'm mean, I don't share, and I tease you."<br>"You also forgot you're bossy." Maura added helpfully.  
>"Exactly."<br>"Demanding." She began to tick off faults on her finger with the beer bottle as she walked towards Jane.  
>"Sure, if you -"<br>"Judgy, sarcastic -"  
>"Yeah, yeah I get it Isles. I'm not what you'd call a 'catch' - so why this...interest?" She took a swig of her beer and watched Maura watch her. "What, why do you always watch me?" Maura always watched her. At first it was unnerving - but - no, it was still unnerving.<br>"I watch everyone." Isles stated simply, taking a sip.  
>"No, not like you watch me."<br>"I don't know. There's a lot of reasons I watch you. Sometimes I can't tell if you're joking or not, so it's to gauge your intention, or your motivation. Sometimes it's to see what you're really feeling. Sometimes it's really is because I watch people. Sometimes it's just that...you're really very pretty."  
>"And you like pretty things?" Jane smiled at her.<br>"Like now, I can't tell if you're making fun of me, or asking me. The upward direction of one side of your mouth indicates you're making fun, the fact that you're hiding behind your hair suggests you're embarrassed to be asking."  
>"I'm not hiding!" Jane sulked, "You sound just like my mother."<br>Maura walked up to Jane and placed her beer on the counter before she ran her hands through the brunette's dark hair, pushing it behind her ears. "If you're asking, yes, I like pretty things. They remind me that all the ugliness we see everyday was once ... different. And you, Jane? Are beautiful." She stood on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on other woman's forehead.  
>"It won't work." Jane muttered, taking a sip of beer to force some distance between the two of them.<br>"Flattery? On you?" Maura tried to smile as she stepped back.  
>"Us."<br>"Oh." The all-knowing Mona Lisa smile returned to Isle's face at the thought that there may still be an 'us'. "What makes you say that?"  
>"It just never does."<br>"What never does?"  
>"Things."<br>"Care to explain, Jane?" Maura asked  
>"Things. Between me. And people. Or you. And people. Well, living people anyways." The joke didn't go over well.<br>"I've had successful interpersonal relationships with the living."  
>"Name three." Jane challenged.<br>"Well there's...and...Hmmm... You first!" Maura responded, jutting her chin out in an act of defiance. Jane sighed, and reached her arms out and hooked her hands into Maura's coat pockets and tugged her closer, settling the doctor's body between her own legs.  
>"We're different."<br>"Yes, we are." Maura agreed, unsure of what to do with her own hands.  
>"It's just - not going to work." Jane's voice was heavy with disappointment.<br>"Is that why you have your arms wrapped around me Jane?" Maura asked softly, placing her own hands on the other woman's waist. "Your waist is really tiny, it's incredible, do you-"  
>"Focus here, Mar?"<br>"Sorry." She dramatically shut her mouth but couldn't hide that grin.  
>"What, what are you smiling at?"<br>"You."  
>"Yeah, I got that." Jane rolled her eyes.<br>"Just that 15 minutes ago we weren't talking, and now your arms are around me."  
>"While I tell you why it won't work."<br>"Jane, do you think I'm attractive?"  
>"Really, if this is what it's like to date you, I'm kind of glad we haven't even started."<br>"We have started dating. We're well into the dating phase. And no, I'm not asking like that."  
>"Fine, you're - you know. Pretty. You've got your hair," She flipped a curly strand of Isle's hair, "And you've got those really cute eyes - kind of like Jo's, and you look great in a skirt. And if I can be honest?" Maura nodded. "Well, you're stacked." Jane admitted.<br>"I know!" The doctor responded with a gleeful smile. "I may not have your legs, but I have these!" She pointed to them. "They even bounce!" She began to bounce slightly on her feet, then stopped, realizing that she still had her coat. "Well, trust me. They do."  
>"I know," Jane laughed, "I've seen them. At yoga, at work, at the bar. We all have!"<br>"Jane!" Maura playfully tapped her arm. "What I'm getting at, aside from the fact that I have magnificent breasts (because I do) is that you like me. You like to spend time with me, you like to interact with me, you like to tease me - and if I'm not mistaken, you'd like to keep doing these things, right?"  
>"Right - so why can't we go back to -" Maura slid closer and closed every gap between their bodies. She swiftly tangled her fingers through Jane's hair and placed a determined kiss on Jane's lips and felt the other woman melt in her arms. "We can. If that's what you'd like. Or we can have this." Isles murmured against Jane's own lips, finally letting go and stepping back to their former position.<br>"This, this was nice." Jane admitted, her eyes finally opening. "But when it ends?"  
>"It ends."<br>"I don't like that answer."  
>"Neither do I. It'd be foolish to think there isn't a chance that it won't because there is a good chance that it will. We can accept it and do our best to keep it from happening, or we just stop here and now." Maura explained. "Did I mention they bounce?" She joked, pointing to her chest once more in an attempt to lighten the mood.<br>"So, for someone who has no idea how to interact with other living human beings -"  
>"I never said that. I just said I wasn't very good at it." She corrected.<br>"You know, you say I tease you all the time, but you correct me all the time. It's very annoying."  
>"Because I'm always correct."<br>"Maura, I'm a cop. I have crap hours at a crap job where people like to shoot at me with guns. And I like it. I'm always on-call. I can never guarantee that I'll be where we're supposed to be. You can't take me anywhere without me probably embarrassing myself and maybe you. I can't buy you pretty things. I'm moody. And I have my family. Do see where I'm going with this?"  
>"Jane, I cut dead people open for a living. And I love my job but I'll probably always smell *just* a little like formaldehyde. I probably embarrass you on a daily basis when you have to explain things to me like 'Fluff' or Twinkies. I can buy my own 'pretty things' - I've been doing it long enough, but if you must know, flowers are also pretty - dahlias especially. I'm confusing and awkward and I don't have my family - I just have me &amp; a tortoise."<br>"Geeze Mar, we're pretty pathetic!" Jane began to laugh.  
>"I don't think so! I think we're charmingly...odd people." She pouted.<br>"Charmingly odd? Is that classy talk for pathetic?"  
>"Does this mean we're friends again?" Maura asked, finally taking off her coat.<br>"Well if you keep bouncing, we can more than friends!"  
>"Oh, like this?" Maura teased, watching Jane trying to keep from blushing. "Jane Rizzoli, you're a breast lady."<br>"I am not. Yours are just magnificent."Jane defended herself as she hopped down from the counter. "You said so yourself."  
>"Listen, Jane -" Isle's voice turned serious once more. "Let's take it slow, ok? We don't have to rush. Or tell people. Not until you're ready."<br>"Really?" Jane asked.  
>"Really." Maura confirmed, "I mean, unless you want to... In that case..." She smiled, "I just - I just don't want to be here -" She motioned to the distance between them "-Again. I don't want us to get to a point where we don't talk."<br>"Me neither." Jane agreed, grabbing Maura's hand and leading her towards the bedroom. "Now, Tell me I'm pretty again! And that you like pretty things! Oooh - does this mean you'll be my sugar mamma?"

~~~

"Maura?" Jane whispered across the dark, "You awake?"  
>"I am now. Nightmare?" She asked, her hand tightening onto Jane's, her eyes still closed.<p>

True to their word, the two women didn't rush into anything, choosing to take their time. They laid out some ground rules - and then promptly agreed that since they'd already shared a bed, maybe a sleepover wouldn't be such a bad idea. They then promptly changed into pajamas (Jane even relinquishing her cherished BPD Academy t-shirt to Maura who gleefully slipped into the oversized shirt) and crawled into bed and each other's arms. It was not as awkward as Jane had assumed it'd have been. She'd shared a bed with Isles before, and crossing the distance between them once under the sheets was not difficult. She did mean it when she said Maura was pretty; she was. And there was something restful about have the softer woman curled up beside her, a nude thigh wrapping around Jane's body. There was also something...enticing as well, Jane admitted, running a hand along the soft curves of Maura's calve and leading up to the thigh, then her hips. She had a feeling this 'taking their time' thing wouldn't take too long.

"No, no nightmare." She whispered back.  
>"Oh."<br>"Tell me about the piano, Maura."  
>"What? It's 3 in the morning!" Isles exclaimed, snuggling herself deeper into Jane's side.<br>"Please?" Jane asked.  
>"Tomorrow. Sleep now?"<br>"Maura. I just want to know something about you. Something happy."  
>"Fine - but tomorrow you're telling me a bedtime story." Isles insisted, with her eyes still closed. "It was a gift from my godfather. It's the one I learned to play on when I was small. I would take lessons every Friday night. And when he had a party at his house I would have my own room. And I would sit at the top of the stairs and peek between the railings and watch as everyone came in. They were beautiful." Her voice dropped off, fighting sleep. "They were in these dresses and tuxedos and in jewelry. And every time he welcomed a guest, he'd turn his head up towards me and wink. And I would watch them..." Isles lost the battle and fell back asleep in Jane Rizzoli's arms. Jane lightly kissed Maura and closed her own eyes, sleep coming back to her. Tomorrow it would be her turn for a story.<p>

- The End


End file.
